Tuesday, December 8, 2009
A Moment to Vent
Do you ever have those times when you are feeling a bit hopeless? I love my family. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my friends. I am a blessed person who really has no room to complain. So why do I get these times when I feel blue? I feel irritable. And the fact that I had to hear my baby and two year old cry at me all morning did not help! All my kids seem to take turns in this department. There always seems to be one of them fussing to me about something. Do my kids really "rule" me? I try really hard to "be the boss", I mean c'mon, we have "time outs" on a daily basis for both my girls who find it so easy to tell me "no". I feel there is no order. But worse of all, How do I create order? I feel like a failure to mom's. My kindergartner still can't recognize over 1/2 her alphabet, and its all my fault. I'm feeling discouraged about my physical body because I still can't fit into my "normal" clothes. It feels like I am stuck in this "post baby body" that I can't seem to fix. I feel frustrated with finances. I am frustrated with the housing market. I wish I were a "super-mom". I look at mothers around me who are amazing teachers! They teach their children, they work with their children, they play with their children. Their kids read early. They are involved in music and dance. These Mom's are talented in the kitchen, garden, sewing, and working out. Their hair is always cute and make-up done. They are resourceful. I, on the other hand, find my days filled with crying children, constant feedings, changing diapers, house cleaning, driving to and from school, making lunches, making dinner, cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning, and trying to teach my kids to do their own cleaning. All this is usually done in sweats and a ponytail...NO make-up. I mostly just let them play, so no wonder Dejah doesn't know her numbers or letters. I feel frustrated when I try to help her and she doesn't get it, so I feel like I am doing more harm than good. This was really not intended to be a LONG complaining post. I know I am not "those" Moms. I am myself. But I have yet to figure out where my Mothering Strengths are. So tonight I will give it a good cry and hope to wake up feeling a little better about myself. I am not seeking pity. I just need a good vent.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Funny thing, I was just crying last night saying the same thing to my husband. I feel like if I screw up now raising my kids then they are going to be bad parents/adults when they grow up. I look at other moms out there and feel really bad about myself and what I do with my kids. I get frustrated helping my 1st grader learn to read. It is nice to know I am not alone in this department.
ReplyDeleteEvery SAHM goes through this. I don't know why Heavenly Father made women feel guilty all the time! I know that I feel like a failure as a mom to my kids all the time. You are a great mom though, you do a lot with your kids!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya Anna~ I have these exact days. Then I just say to myself......WHATEVER! I suck at things. I have a sewing machine I have NEVER used, I squeeze every penny out of a diaper til they weigh 5 lbs when I change them, sometimes I don't do the dishes til JUST before Jason gets home......the list is a MILE long! So, yes, vent......but when it really gets bad, just ask Heavenly Father. They are HIS kids too. He knows them, and you better than you do!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's always funny how we view ourselves compared to how others view us... example: I think you always looks adorable - and that you can get away with not wearing makeup is a little perturbing to the rest of us :) - I've always thought your children were so well behaved. I am impressed by your garden and your painting talents... so many things... so to me - you have always seemed like you have it all together :) - and I am pretty sure you do. The only problem: you are exactly what a "Mom" is - You're human. :) Kind of a damper once in awhile huh? Today my human mom self has allowed the hour to pass to 12:30 p.m. and I have still not brushed my teeth. Yummy...
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. I felt like that a lot when I was younger. It's Satan, no kidding! I learned to look around. At least you aren't beating your kids. At least you are not an alcoholic. At least you are not gambling away all your money. At least you are not addicted to drugs. The list goes on and on. It's just a matter of learning to control your thoughts. Negative is Satan and positive is Christ. It's still a challenge to me every day. Good luck. Love you Shelley
ReplyDeleteSeriously, everybody feels like you at some point! There will always be somebody cuter thinner mommier and more pulled together than you if you look for them. Likewise, there are a bundle of mothers who are fatter, lazier, and less mommier than you also. Its all dependent on how you want your mind to go!
ReplyDeleteI just find people I want to be like and surround myself with them. The point is to progress, not be perfect right? Ill never be half the girl I wish I was but thats ok. I keep trying to do new things, adapt new ideas, and start new game plans whenever I feel stressed out.
Maybe Logan knocked your hormones out of whack and you are having a hard time getting back to yourself. I felt that way for sure after Brigitte. They say its nine months up (physically and hormonally) and 9 months down. So give yourself some slack there...nobody is supposed to feel great when they have a new baby plus two other kids! Its just a balancing game.
I found that little projects and hobbies have kept me sane. Even cooking or organizing a closet to OCD perfection can give me a huge sense of accomplishment! Maybe pick up a new activity and see if it can pull you out of the slump.
There are TONS of activities you can get your two little ones into while dejah is in school. Sometimes being forced out of the house helps! It gets me going and then my day just takes off. Start up a blog business or start writing a memoir for each of your kids. Once you get started there wont be enough hours in the day!!!
Good Luck, dont worry :) We have all been where you are! Im there A LOT of the time! Just fake it till you make it. My personal motto!
I feel overwhelmed and frustrated a lot AND I only have one AND my husband works from home AND my son takes a three hour nap. You have three little ones. That's hard. Having little children is a huge blessing and stress, but they will only stay little for such a short time.
ReplyDeleteJust really soak it up and write down all the crazy things they do because before you know it they will be teenagers.
Anyway I think the compare game is one of the worst things we can do to ourselves. Maybe you should write a post or just write a list for yourself of all of your wonderful mommy traits because you have them. Focus on the positive and sometimes you just need to hang on.
I really want to get Corbin involved in something but kindermusik is way too expensive. I think we could do our own if we got proactive enough. It's something to think about anyway. Good luck and I totally agree with everything my mom and Christy said.
Mitzi
It seems like every mother goes through the same thing - I felt the exact same way when my older three were tiny. We had moved to Oregon (no family), and I felt alone, and I couldn't go anywhere with a 2 year old and two babies. Now it's just memories because I've moved onto the next phase - having older kids who can help. So...this too shall pass! You're a great mom, don't beat yourself up!!
ReplyDeleteAt least you know you are so not alone on this one. I feel so guilty when I realize just how much tv I have sat and let the kids watch. And I wonder how in the heck this one chick in my ward who has 8 children under the age of 12 (freakin crazy) does it all. She runs in the morning and always looks good and has a clean house and is the most crafty person I know. But I think that sitting and comparing ourselves to others is doing us no good! We all have our trials. But it's refreshing to know that I am not the only person who feels this way. I love that you are open and honest about things in you posts. You are so relateable! And you are a great mother... your kids would not trade you for the world!!
ReplyDelete