Dear Castor Oil,
My name is Anna Beal. I am currently 38 weeks pregnant with my fourth child. I know that there are many women who just love to be pregnant. I am not one of them. I have heard that you have some kind of "magic power" making babies come when they are ready. Although I cannot read minds, I know that my baby is ready. Two weeks ago my cervix was 50% softened and her head was down. Now I wasn't really dilated, but that's no big deal. Since then, her head has engaged further. I know because I feel like all my bones in the lower region are going to break at any time. I am at my whits end. I'm hoping you'll be my friend and help this process along. Now I've heard it may not be fun....since you are a Laxative, but in my opinion, some laxative would be greatly appreciated after the baby....if you know what I mean. My Mom had great results with you and I'm hearing that from others. So tonight at Midnight (because today is the Sabbath), I will be making a scheduled midnight visit to Walgreens where I will pick you up. Following that I will bring you back to my place where you will meet Ice Cream Milkshake. Together I am hoping you will work that "magic". I know I may not get much sleep, but who are we kidding, that isn't happening much anyway. So, see you early early early.
ps. I promise I will try to be a trooper, but desperate times call for desperate measures!