Mommy Needs a Break

A few weeks ago my youngest single brother moved to Hawaii to work for the summer, maybe longer.  Oh the days of being single.  Sometimes I look back a wonder why I didn't just do stuff like that while I could.  I had a moment where I started looking a plane tickets and tempting myself with a visit to my brother.  I just imagined myself sitting on the beach in the hot sun.  Then reality hit.  I was thinking about my current situation.  Alex has been so busy.  It seems like I haven't had a break from these kids for months.  Sure I think I've gotten a couple hours here and there for an occasional date or grocery trip, but then I am right back home doing what I always do, which is fine...I love my kids, but they have reached a whole new level of difficulty.  Lexi has become a little toddler.  She is entering those terrible twos which take about 10 years of my life away.  On top of that she is clingy and very fussy.  She wants me to hold her or watch Buzz Lightyear.  Can you tell which one I cave to most of the time?  What have I done to my little girl?  She LOVES Buzz!!  Did I mention Logan is still in his terrible twos?  He will be entering his terrible threes next week.  Lucky for me he is starting to learn to talk, however he still knows the art of screaming.  Not only will his terrible twos and threes take ten years from my life but he will be adding early hearing loss.  I want to feel the joy in Motherhood.  When they are being cute and funny and when they are getting along I feel that joy, but when they turn into their needy little selves all I want to do is hide (or go to Hawaii and sip some pineapple).  One day my friends somehow convinced me to join them and their kids for lunch at a Mexican restaurant.  What a nightmare.  They were horrible, I had to just leave.  That is how I feel with my kids most of the time.  If I meet up with Moms for Play time...mine just want my attention the whole time.  They whine and fuss and I feel embarrassed and want to leave.  At softball Lexi just crawls all over me and Logan and Mycah take turns coming back to me about something.  I get it.  I'm the Mom.  This is just the way it is.  I don't get the luxury of RELAX until my kids sleep.  I'm just saying, its hard and I think I need a break.