Thursday, April 22, 2010

We Are Having A.....

Its a Girl!

Before I proceed, I want everyone to know...I really am truly grateful to be carrying a strong and healthy baby. I am grateful for all my kids, for my good health and theirs, and for a loving husband who has the patience to put up with my emotions. This is my blog, therefore the place I choose to express some of my inner thoughts and feelings. If I ever come across negative or ungrateful, its not because that is the way I always feel, but because that is life. And sometimes, I write it down to get it off my chest and then I move on.
OK, with that being said, I kept myself very busy today. I swear I did 10 loads of laundry, and reorganized the kids and my clothing. I started with a yummy breakfast so I would have the energy to keep up with myself. Finally my appointment came. Up till today I've done my best to convince myself it is a girl, just so I wouldn't feel let down. But of course, as much as I did that, I still held on to every drop of hope it would be a boy. So I go into my appointment, Dr. looks, he points out the three little parts that make this baby a girl, and that was that. Here it is pointed out for you all to see.

I stayed pretty composed. There were no tears. Just me thinking, ...."Of course you are having another girl Anna...that's what happens when you want the other so badly!" It happened with the first, it happened with the second, you gave up hope on the third....lucky was a boy. What did you expect?" So we left that appointment and Alex and I drove separate cars home. I just couldn't bring myself to call anyone. I didn't feel excited about it. All I kept thinking about was how Logan would never know what it was like to have a brother. He won't have a brother to toss balls with. No brother to fish, hunt, camp or go shooting with. On top of that, there is the guilt I kinda feel for maybe not trying again. Try for number five???? Its just as much a gamble, and there are no guarantees. I'm not sure my body could take it. OK, it probably could, but really, I feel like being pregnant has taken over who I am. This time its been two years in a row, which is REALLY hard. When I'm pregnant, I have no energy to keep up with the ones I have. Dinner doesn't get made. My husband gets neglected more often that he should. I can't run and play with my kids. The list goes on. To top it off, we really can't afford another one. I know, lame excuse says some, but I refuse to go on "assistance" so that they can be fed. So these are all my "selfish" reasons why I won't be going for number five. So one boy it is. I'm afraid he may get a little spoiled around here. I guess its not too bad for a boy to get smothered by girl attention. There is just something in me that feels bad that I can't give Alex another boy, but logic tells me, it has nothing to do with me. Also, she probably needed to come, because she was not meant to happen in the first place. So I arrived home. I got the kids unloaded then went back out to the car where I couldn't contain myself any longer. I cried pretty hard. I still get choked up when I think about it. Of course, there was no desire to make dinner for my family, so we took our kids out to the local Mexican restaurant in Kuna (WHICH IS AWESOME). I ordered my fave.....Steak Fajitas and Dr. Pepper and dunked my sorrows away with chips, salsa, caffeine, and fajitas! There was an awesome Mexican group of singers there too entertaining the diners! So on to tomorrow. I hope I wake up feeling a bit happier about it. To those of you who know what its like to only get boys, or only get girls, I guess I should just be happy I at least got one huh?


  1. I kinda understand where you're coming from. When I first got pregnant with owen I prayed I'd get a girl. But it helped when I came up with a boy name that I liked better than the girl name. And by the time we figured out he was a boy I was cool with it.

    But hey, just cause she's a girl doesnt mean she's not going to want to play ball with the boys. Me and Marshall we're pretty close in age and he was ALWAYS my best friend. Age and personality have EVERYTHING to do with it. And she'll have a good big brother to keep the boys away with a bat.

    You know this already, but even with all the not so fun things that come with kids, each one has their own way of surprising you and making things better.

  2. dang right!! You girl hogger!! :) We're all just jealous! I'm scared to have any more b/c I KNOW they'll be boys! Poor Marissa!! :) Don't know how you do it girl! My boys WEAR ME OUT!
    Anyway, and Anna, who said he won't have brothers to camp with and hunt and fish and do boy stuff. The kid is gonna have THREE sisters!! I guarantee there'll be PLENTY of boys around for him to get his share! And that means he gets three brothers in law!
    Let me tell you too...Adam is the only boy with 3 sisters. You know how HAPPY I was that the man I was gonna marry had ALL sisters?? ECSTATIC! Talk about a guy who UNDERSTANDS! They KNOW what pms is and how to be around a girl and not get skittish about hearing about periods and CRYING! Logan is gonna be a STUD!
    So CONGRATS! Put that bunkbed together and throw in the crib! Girl central! We're gonna be visiting for SURE! :)

  3. (though I can understand where you're coming from...if we don't have a girl next time I'll give you a call and we can drown our sorrows together in Fajitas and Dr Pepper and cry in my car! :) Sounds almost tempting!!)

  4. Logan has Alex to throw balls around with and do all that boy stuff! My friend of mine just found out today that they're expecting their 4th girl! I think she was a little bummed. Thankfully you do have at least one boy. And he is going to be the BEST husband because he will understand girl hormones and know how to treat a lady!! I'm really excited for you and glad everything is healthy!!

    PS... I'm not prego but when I do get pregnant if it's not a girl I will be pretty disappointed. Go figure!

  5. I relate, Anna. I really wanted this baby to be a boy, too. Isaac is just like Logan...for some reason it was destined for them to each have three sisters! These little girls we are are carrying must be special! At least Logan isn't old enough to share his disappointment about being brother-less with you...I still get flack from Isaac occassionally. But he still kisses my tummy and tells the baby he loves her. :)

  6. Oh Anna I can so relate to what you are saying! After having 4 boys (one's in heaven) We never thought we would have a girl. I remember crying after the ultrasound too. Don't feel bad, one of my friends who had two boys and was pregnant with the 3 said she was going to abort if this wasn't a girl, cracked me up! She was kidding.. I hope! It ended up being a girl so we will never know, haha.
    Anyway, your knew little chickie will have TONS of friends all coming with her. Sunday I found out Tiffany Grubbs, Amy Beck, Lyrice Kriemeyer,and Joy Plassants (sp?) are all having girls! What a batch, huh, 5 little girls coming into our ward and they follow my Sadie by only 5 or 6 months.
    Oh and being pregnant back to back has to take such a toll on you!

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  8. Thank you for being so honest. I can't say that I would have been able to do so. My husband is the only boy in 5 kids, he fell 4th in the mix. He is totally looked to from 3 of his sisters as the big brother and for that I am grateful. Your little man will be the same, well adjusted, well dressed :) and well looked after boy! I myself have 2 of the same gender and would love the next one to be the opposite but I just can't bring myself to wish and hope. I wish I could but I just can't bring myself to it, perhaps I am denying myself feeling but I think I just will not find out the gender prior to birth and hope this solves my problem! Thanks again for your honesty. Do you have a possible name or names picked?

  9. My parents have 4 girls... zero boys. The doctor predicted that two of my sisters would be boys due to their heartbeats... but upon being born... no boys were to be had. I am the youngest daughter and though I am sure my father felt let down initially he simply decided to raise us like boys. We fish, play sports, and still on occassion - wrestle around. I bet your son won't feel let down for a moment. Your daughters are so cool and love the outdoors just like their parents - ... maybe if he had different parents raising him he would notice the absence of a brother - but not with you guys. You're way too fun!
    I hope this came across the right way... I understand wanting a child to be a certain sex...I completely empathize - I just wanted to let you know that your family is wonderful - and capable of making everything fit together perfectly. :)

  10. Congrats on having a girl! I'm sorry that you didn't get a boy... we need to trade secrets because that's all I can get! I know that the next time I get pregnant I need to just assume that it's a boy and not get my hopes up.

    Now you and Logan can have a very special bond because he's your only boy! :)

  11. I've been checking back to find out what you are having, so I was so glad to finally know the answer!

    You will grow to love this little girl so much that you won't remember why you wanted a boy in the first place. I've been sad for my Livi to not have a sister, but I see how much fun she has with her brothers, and I wouldn't change a thing!

    Congrats to you and Alex!

  12. Don't feel like it's your fault that you are having a girl, it's Alex's. Ha. No really the sperm is what determines the sex of the baby. They either carry an X or Y chromosome. Good luck and for what it's worth your pregnancy is flying by for me. Ha.

  13. Congrats on a healthy baby! She has so many good examples to look up to in your family and Logan will be enough boy to handle. I'm sure your little one and Logan will be close though. I grew up with all brothers-always wanted a sister but it made me grow into a stronger person and have such good relationships with each bro and especially my mom. Alex and Logan can be extra good buds and yes, it's ok to spoil him!

  14. Congrats on the baby girl! Sorry you are taking it so hard!

  15. Congrats on the little girl! You guys have cute kids so I'm sure she won't be any different :)