Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Little Cave-Men

Its SUMMER!!! Yeah!!! (Will Someone PLEEEEASE give the message to Mother Nature??)  Ok I know its really Spring but the point is my husband is a teacher, his students were out for Summer break two weeks ago, his last day was last Friday, and it is HIS "official" summer break.  This year he got a job in industry working at Kenworth Truck three days a week. Which means I get to still have my sanity because Alex won't be pacing around the house everyday bored out of his mind.  This also means that he will be home Fridays through Mondays!  I could not be happier.  Now all we need is some good weather so we can have some good family fun.

So Monday Alex was off.  We came up with a meal plan and took the kids to the grocery store.  I was so glad to have Alex with me.  I was sure the kids would be better behaved and I could get more accomplished.
INSTEAD......they decided to give Alex a preview of how they behave when its just me!  Oh MY GOSH...I wanted to curl up and hide.  Logan was being a complete TERROR!  And OHHHHH the screaming!  If you haven't heard it, your ears are grateful.  He was mad about everything.  I ended up leaving Alex to finish off the shopping and took Logan to the car to finish his screaming there.  My ears were ringing for about 3 minutes after that.  I have been feeling pretty hopeless about my children and their fits.  I've tried cold showers, time outs, getting on their level and getting eye contact, spanking, slapping mouths, spraying water in their face with a water bottle, shutting them in their rooms, etc...  Nothing I do FIXES the problem, it only deals with the current tantrum.  They (as in Logan and Mycah) do it at home, at church, and in every pubic place they go.  I get embarrassed and I feel like a horrible Mom who can't control her kids.  I've been doing some research and almost cried with joy when I found this one.  Check it out......

Basically he sees children like little cave-men.  They are primitive in their communication abilities. But like adults they want to be validated/heard.  I know this is a fact for me.  When I am upset it just makes me more upset when Alex tells me how I should be feeling when all I want is for him to be understanding of how I'm feeling.  When this is done first, I respond better to suggestions.  Anyway, it seems really embarrassing and silly to talk to the kids that way.  He says to repeat back to the child at least three times in short words what they want.  For example, a child wants that cup.  They start throwing a big fit about it.  You say to the child (in their similar energy), "You want that cup, You want that cup, You want that cup", then you tell them.."No. That cup is dirty, that cup is dirty, that cup is dirty.  Here is another cup."  And this is supposed to fix the fit.  If it doesn't, he suggests doing it again.  I've been trying it this morning and WOW!  I will be checking out his book TODAY!
I will give updates on the results.  Wish me luck!


  1. Hey the happiest toddler on the block! We learned about this in my parenting class and child development class. We thought it was so weird but then had toddlers come in our class and we tried it out and it works! It feels very weird doing it but it does work! Glad you found it and it is working!

  2. I have that book, I haven't read it yet but I should. I hope it works for you, keep us posted!

  3. Wow. What a paradigm shift. This is definitely worth trying.

    The only question is, how is this going to help the fact I can already barely carry on a normal conversation with an adult due to an acute case of Mommy brain? After I start trying this for a few months, people will probably need to repeat everything to me 3 times...