No Win

 No Win For Me :(

Here's the story:

So during this whole voting process I seriously stressed out my brain trying to figure out how in the world I could generate the most votes.  I mean, I seriously stressed myself into headaches and lack of sleep.  Someone I know, suggested I just make up a bunch of votes using different email addresses.  I thought it was a great idea.  So I went through my emails.  You know when you get a forward from someone and it comes with TONS of email addresses to other people?  Well I copied and pasted about 350 email addresses into a word document in hopes of using those to generate votes.  After some thought I realized this was not very honest.  Not to mention, each computer comes with and I.S.P. address.  If there were over 350 votes coming from one ISP then it would be a bit obvious.  However, you never know if the radio station was even looking at the ISP addresses of the voters.  Either way, it felt dishonest, so I opted Not to do that.  

My new plan was to use these 350 email addresses and send them and email, begging for their vote.  Kind of annoying, but I REALLY wanted the cash!  I sent TONS of emails.  I also sent a message to EVERY SINGLE PERSON on my Facebook Page.  Again annoying.  There was no way of knowing how many votes I was getting, so it was a big waiting game.  

Friday morning came.  The announcement was going to be made sometime between 5:30am and 10am.  Of course I was up at 5 and couldn't sleep.  I turned on the radio and listened to all the annoying music and commercials until about 7:15am.  I decided not to sit around and wait anymore and went to Zumba.  I got home and the announcement was not made yet.  The DJ said they were in the process of counting and that their Hot Mom site got over a half a million hits!  Anyway I was so nervous that I could hardly breathe.  Finally the announcement came, and it was Not me.  

I was sad of course.  I thought "oh, well, good try."  Then reality set in and I started to cry.  This was really annoying to me.  I swore I wouldn't cry over this dumb competition.  I guess the stress of it all just came to a crashing halt.  I could have cared less about being in the top 10 hot moms.  The title meant NOTHING.  I wanted the cash.  How long has it been since I got a paycheck?  Since 2004!  And I've been doing the hardest job of my life since.  During that time the only clothing I bought was something cheap to get me by till my next pregnancy.  Anyway, that money to me meant I could get some clothes, and a much needed bunk bed for my kids.  The loss made me realize all those possibilities were gone.  I bawled....and bawled...and bawled some more.  It was a bad day.  I had NOTHING to do that day to even help me get it off my mind, not even groceries or cleaning.  Not one person called me to see how I was doing.  All around, Friday was bad.  So that is my sob story.  I am doing MUCH better today.  I am over it.  Loss is part of life.  At least I have great kids who are strong and healthy and happy.