Goodbye 2009

In 2009:

Alex turned 35. Mycah turned 2. We had our 6 year anniversary. Our third child Logan was born healthy and strong and we LOVE him! We took two camping trips, despite having a new baby. I turned 31. Our oldest Dejah turned 5 and started Kindergarten. Alex's job switched from Boise State to The College of Western Idaho. Alex is continuing forward with his Master's Degree. And I got pregnant with our 4th baby. Not too crazy, but some big events :)

In 2010:

I hope to be a happier person. I totally get that no one likes hanging around mopey people. I hope to be a kinder, patient mom. I hope to be more understanding and loving to my wonderful Husband. I hope to have a strong healthy baby (send me boy vibes :) ). Life really is great, and I hope to appreciate it more.

7 Weeks Pregnant

How I'm feeling: A little snappy, especially when I'm hungry. Tired. It hits me in the later afternoon and naps are near to impossible. Breast tenderness. A brutal reminder of one of the worst parts of having a baby. Nausea. Not really here yet. I've had some, but it is quickly remedied with food. We'll see. This should be the week it really hits hard.

My Baby #4: Should be around the size of a blueberry. Is starting to develop limbs, face, and brain. The little tail is starting to shrink. I thought I felt movement the other day, but I'm pretty sure its still too small.

A SCARY Situation That Could Have Been MUCH Worse!

If you are from Boise, you should be somewhat familiar with this place. It is the Edwards Cinema 22 with Imax. Also the place that changed my idea about Boise last night. I will explain the numbers in a minute.

So this week, Alex will be going to the Humanitarian Football game with his brother. Since he is going to be going out, I figured I deserved some time out as well. I called up Joy. I kind of know her from church, and thought she might like to get out as well. I'm not a very good planner but suggested dinner and maybe a movie. We ate at Applebees then left around 7ish. We were talking about movies, and I mentioned Avatar. I originally said I would never see that movie. Then I saw the "making" of it and thought it might be better than I was giving it credit for. She said that she had seen it and LOVED it and would totally see it again. So we drove out to Edwards to see if we could get in the IMAX 3D. We got there too late, but there was a 3D showing at 7:20 in the main theater (the current time) that had 30 seats left. We bought our tickets and ran in. It was completely full! We decided to trade our tickets in for the next 3D showing 8:20. Since this is a 3 hour movie we knew we were going to get out late. I called Alex and let him know I wouldn't be home till around midnight. Ok, onto the point of this post. The movie was awesome! I had a great evening. We walked out of the theater (point one around 11:30). All the businesses were closed. Lights out and all. We were parked fairly close. (RED X) It was pretty cold out, so we were walking pretty fast. At around point 2 I noticed a car down the way (blue X point 3), with its headlights on, not in a parking spot, kinda parked parallel to the curb. As we continued toward my car, that car started slowly driving in our direction. At around point 4 I could see it was two young Latino guys in a big silver SUV coming right up to us. Instantly my throat sank into my stomach and I got a really sick feeling. My first thought was "They are up to NO good", "get out". Joy says "Do they want our parking spot?" (I think she realized right after she said it, that was not their goal since the parking lot was full of them). I said "Joy, get in the car, get in the car". Of course it was locked. Not a nice car with remote unlock. I had to stick the dumb key in and open the door to get her side unlocked. As I was unlocking the car. These guys pulled up almost right next to us (Blue X point number 4). I couldn't move fast enough. My hands were shaking and all I could think was..."get in, lock the door". We got in, locked it. And as I stared the car, they were getting out. The whole time looking right at us. They walked slowly over to the side walk and I pulled out ready to leave that parking lot ASAP. I was shaking and I said, "Joy, they are up to something". She picked up the phone and called dispatch. She told me to pull back around to get their plates number. I did, and as we came around they were back inside their SUV. I think they saw us on the phone. She reported the plate number and we rushed out of there. I got on the freeway, really hoping they wouldn't have followed us. I wasn't too worried about that then as we got over to take our exit, the police called back for more info and they passed right by us. There was really nothing the police would do at that point. We got off our exit and they kept going. I felt so sick all night. Joy had mentioned to me, if we had parked any farther down that situation could have been way worse. I am thanking the Lord for watching over us, and getting us home safe. We were both pretty shaken up. I honestly never would have thought I could be in that kind of Danger here in Boise. I guess we will both be thinking a little more about keeping our activities to daylight hours.

Christmas Eve Part1

On Christmas Eve morning we decided to take all the kids swimming to the YMCA. Its one of the few things we can all do as a family, and the kids love it! There weren't very many people there, so it was extra nice. Here are some pictures of our fun morning.

Christmas Eve Eve & Santa

Ever since I was a kid. We always got together with my Dad's side of the family for a Christmas Eve celebration. We gathered together for good food and fun. All the kids would dress up and do the Nativity Story with songs. After the nativity, we would sing Santa songs, and my Grandpa would come dressed as Santa and give all the kids a gift from his big red bag. Since then, we are all grown but still create the fun for our own little ones. We went to my grandparents. There were Aunts, Uncles, cousins and their spouses and a ton of kids from all. My Dad dressed in the Santa Suit this year and we also did the Nativity. The kids had tons of fun!

Pregnancy Update

Ok all. Its been a bit since my last hugely depressing post. I am on my way to being excited about this little thing growing inside. Thing #4 now has a heart beat, and is the size of the tip of a pen. You would never know by looking at my belly though. I'm either "showing", or haven't stopped "showing" from Thing #3 (Logan). P.S. There will be NO belly shots probably EVER. Not so attractive after 4. I have been feeling really tired. Nausea comes and goes, but hasn't really hit me full force. I get head aches and I'm kinda moody. I am also hungry hungry hungry. Eating is a must! Which is not normal for me. My selfish self is starting to give in to the beauty of a baby. I LOVE my babies! Their soft sweet smelling skin. Bald heads and little giggles are worth all of it. I will really be sad when its over. So big house or small, I will make it work. Girl or Boy, I will love it just the same. I pray for strength and health for me and the baby. I'll give a weekly baby update. So see ya'll next week.

Surprise! You Are Not Going To Want To Miss This One!

You see that faint little line???? That's right! Faint or Bold....it means the same! Planned? I would have to be crazy! SO. NOT. PLANNED! So not ready! Ready or not here it comes. I wasn't going to make an announcement until Christmas, but I have been such a ball of emotions I can no longer contain myself. I have been in a whirlwind of tears, extreme fear, and slight excitement that I can officially say I am Done! Tears? I just don't feel ready to take on another pregnancy and baby right away. I mean c'mon...I have a baby. He is 6 months old. My body still hasn't "recovered". I'm still getting up with him every night to "re-insert the nuk". With my other kids, I had mentally prepared myself for the "Nine months ahead". I was excited. So I could bear the aches, the nausea, the sleepless nights, the hunger, and my worst symptom of all, REALLY BAD varicose veins that swell my legs and labia to a constant state of discomfort. And the only relief I get from those is when I deliver the baby. Yes it has been six months since I had Logan, but it really only feels like two. So I am having a REALLY hard time getting excited! I am Extremely fearful because we are in a small little starter home that was intended to be just that. Like most, we owe more on our home than what we could sell it for. Lucky for us we can afford the mortgage. Unlucky for us, that means we are stuck. Unless by some stroke of luck and answers to prayers, something works out for us to move into a more "suitable" home. I know there are moms out there thinking, "oh, that is nothing, I raised 6 kids in a one bedroom house.". Ladies, contrary to what you may think, I am not one of those super organized, super patient, super moms that can make anything work and be super chipper about it. Reality is, I can't sleep with a baby in my room. I don't have the patience when it comes to walking all over my kids toys because they don't have anywhere else to play. More than likely, it will just have to be that way, and I will just have to learn how to deal with it. I just feel like a more stressed person when I don't have my space. So I guess you could say I'm a bit stressed out. Now the exciting part, I knew that Four was my number, which means...after this....I am done! Well, that is all for now. Plenty more posts to come :)

My Baby

I could kiss those chubby baby cheeks all day long!

Painting My Sorrow Away

First off, I just want to thank those of you who gave me some "words of wisdom". I really just needed to vent. When it all comes down to reality, motherhood in itself is difficult. But I can't complain. My kids are strong and healthy. We have a roof over our head. We have job security. There is always something to eat. So enough of my pity party and onto...... painting!

I know for some of you, painting is NO FUN.

But, I love it (minus the mess my kids make while I'm doing it).

Some of you know I have been wanting to paint my kitchen cabinets. They are Cheap...Fake...Oak...Gross! Only, I don't want to mess them up. So I decided to do a practice run on my kids little bathroom cabinet. There is also NO storage in that bathroom. So I purchased an over-the-toilet caddy, and some blue rugs. While I was buying white paint for the cabinet, I bought paint for the walls....what the heck :)

Here are the befores.

Here is the after with No cupboards.

Here is my newly painted cupboards.

A Moment to Vent

Do you ever have those times when you are feeling a bit hopeless? I love my family. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my friends. I am a blessed person who really has no room to complain. So why do I get these times when I feel blue? I feel irritable. And the fact that I had to hear my baby and two year old cry at me all morning did not help! All my kids seem to take turns in this department. There always seems to be one of them fussing to me about something. Do my kids really "rule" me? I try really hard to "be the boss", I mean c'mon, we have "time outs" on a daily basis for both my girls who find it so easy to tell me "no". I feel there is no order. But worse of all, How do I create order? I feel like a failure to mom's. My kindergartner still can't recognize over 1/2 her alphabet, and its all my fault. I'm feeling discouraged about my physical body because I still can't fit into my "normal" clothes. It feels like I am stuck in this "post baby body" that I can't seem to fix. I feel frustrated with finances. I am frustrated with the housing market. I wish I were a "super-mom". I look at mothers around me who are amazing teachers! They teach their children, they work with their children, they play with their children. Their kids read early. They are involved in music and dance. These Mom's are talented in the kitchen, garden, sewing, and working out. Their hair is always cute and make-up done. They are resourceful. I, on the other hand, find my days filled with crying children, constant feedings, changing diapers, house cleaning, driving to and from school, making lunches, making dinner, cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning, and trying to teach my kids to do their own cleaning. All this is usually done in sweats and a ponytail...NO make-up. I mostly just let them play, so no wonder Dejah doesn't know her numbers or letters. I feel frustrated when I try to help her and she doesn't get it, so I feel like I am doing more harm than good. This was really not intended to be a LONG complaining post. I know I am not "those" Moms. I am myself. But I have yet to figure out where my Mothering Strengths are. So tonight I will give it a good cry and hope to wake up feeling a little better about myself. I am not seeking pity. I just need a good vent.

What happens when you leave a two year old alone?

This morning I decided to sit at the computer for a bit. Logan was sleeping. Dejah was at school. And Mycah was just minding her own business, playing to herself. I was so proud of her for playing so well in her room. She would come in and out like no big deal. It was just about time for me to wake up Logan and I went in her room....and what did I find. Oh yah! Mycah somehow got into Dejah's nail polish and thought it would be nice to "paint" her room and some other things! Aghhhh! The window was painted. Some toys were painted. Best of all, her wall was painted. The funniest part is you can tell she was trying to do such a pretty job with the painting. Lucky for me there was only one little drip on the carpet. Un-lucky for me...how do I get it off the wall without removing the wall paint??? Oh Yah...I don't think its possible. To top it off...I don't remember what shade of Purple we used. Nice. Oh I love my kids!

Random

I have been in such a blogging slump. I just feel there is nothing too exciting to post. On top of that, it still doesn't feel like "Christmas" yet. Our tree is up. We listen to Christmas music. We pretty much rot in our house because its freezing outside. I don't know, maybe its because there hasn't been any snow? Anyway, the kids are doing ok despite being couped up. Mycah and Logan have had colds. No big deal though. Alex is coming to the end of the First Semester at work and with school. He will be off in a couple weeks and I am so excited! I've been wanting to do some painting projects. I don't think he really wants to paint, but I'm thinking once he sees all the "fun" I'm having, he'll want to help. I've discovered that shopping online for gifts is so much easier than going into town. I'm really not a fan of crowded stores and holiday traffic. I don't like waiting in lines to check out either. Just call me Scrooge. Yesterday I HAD to go shopping for a few things which took me to Walmart and the Mall (Both a mess during the Holidays and on a Saturday to boot!). I left my house as early as I could to avoid all the traffic. It was perfect! The mall opened early and I was in and out in a flash! Last night the kids had a little Christmas performance for the Ward Christmas Party. It was really cute to see all the kids dressed up and on the stage. It was short and sweet. Perfect! Ok, well thats it for now.

Stressing over a DOLL!

When Alex and I lived in Laramie, I had a friend who had this Talking Boo Doll. Dejah LOOOVED it! I just remembered it, and thought Mycah would just Love it for Christmas. I did a ton of research...and wouldn't you know it, brand new in the box...$200!!! Used on ebay, there are not a ton of options. I can buy her with messy hair and naked with no little toy for $30, or I can wait a few days and start bidding, but that will only get me a used Boo with messy hair and no little toy and probably only half dressed. Oh the stress! I already made a bid on one fully clothed but couldn't bring myself to pay more than $30 for it. So I lost. Anyone have great gift ideas for little girls?