Tuesday, December 8, 2009
A Moment to Vent
Do you ever have those times when you are feeling a bit hopeless? I love my family. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my friends. I am a blessed person who really has no room to complain. So why do I get these times when I feel blue? I feel irritable. And the fact that I had to hear my baby and two year old cry at me all morning did not help! All my kids seem to take turns in this department. There always seems to be one of them fussing to me about something. Do my kids really "rule" me? I try really hard to "be the boss", I mean c'mon, we have "time outs" on a daily basis for both my girls who find it so easy to tell me "no". I feel there is no order. But worse of all, How do I create order? I feel like a failure to mom's. My kindergartner still can't recognize over 1/2 her alphabet, and its all my fault. I'm feeling discouraged about my physical body because I still can't fit into my "normal" clothes. It feels like I am stuck in this "post baby body" that I can't seem to fix. I feel frustrated with finances. I am frustrated with the housing market. I wish I were a "super-mom". I look at mothers around me who are amazing teachers! They teach their children, they work with their children, they play with their children. Their kids read early. They are involved in music and dance. These Mom's are talented in the kitchen, garden, sewing, and working out. Their hair is always cute and make-up done. They are resourceful. I, on the other hand, find my days filled with crying children, constant feedings, changing diapers, house cleaning, driving to and from school, making lunches, making dinner, cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning, and trying to teach my kids to do their own cleaning. All this is usually done in sweats and a ponytail...NO make-up. I mostly just let them play, so no wonder Dejah doesn't know her numbers or letters. I feel frustrated when I try to help her and she doesn't get it, so I feel like I am doing more harm than good. This was really not intended to be a LONG complaining post. I know I am not "those" Moms. I am myself. But I have yet to figure out where my Mothering Strengths are. So tonight I will give it a good cry and hope to wake up feeling a little better about myself. I am not seeking pity. I just need a good vent.
Posted by Anna Beal at 10:11 PM