Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Just The Way It Is

Ughhhh! I am so behind on blogging. Again I have no pictures to share. I guess the main reasons why I have stayed away so long. #1 Sick. I last posted about the Vitamin B6 and Unisom combination "fixing" the problem. Well, its weird, sometimes I feel fine other times, not so much. The Unisom is a sleeping pill. The first couple nights I only took a 1/2 dose...it seemed to be ok. I took a full dose Friday night...not good! I was OUT OF IT almost all of Saturday. I didn't take any that night, and Sunday I felt nauseous. I took a 1/2 dose again, but it knocked me out all day yesterday. There really is a no win situation. I just need this trimester to be OVER!

Ok my #2 reason for not blogging. I am completely full of negative energy. I am not much fun to be around right now, and my entries would reflect all of it. I would have to change my blog titles to the "Anna Rants". Sick, Tired, missing most of Church every Sunday, not doing my hair EVER except to go to Sacrament on Sundays. My growing body that never got a chance to re-coop from my last baby. I won't get a summer to ride bikes or ski, or do anything physical for that matter. Fussy demanding children, my lost ability to make a meal for my family. I practically live in a bath robe and dread going anywhere. Really this list could go on. Yesterday I was thinking I should write down all the things that put a smile on my face despite all those negative things. So here it is:

When Logan wakes up from a nap or in the morning, and I come in, he sees me standing there and gets excited and smiles and squeals and starts shaking his legs and arms like crazy. When I sit to feed him a bottle he gets squirmy about half way through and wants to slap my free hand like he's giving me high fives. He is starting to crawl....somewhat. He gets into a bear crawl position and gets his legs going, but he just can't figure out yet how to get his arms moving. He LOVES the remote and cell phone. He gets really mad if you take it away from him, and he prefers them to toys.

Mycah is my cuddler. I can always count on her wanting me to hold her. I love that she loves books. She would let you read to her all day if you would. She has the biggest cheesy grin....but the poor girl has so many big teeth I'm afraid she is doomed for braces. She is tiny. Going on Three and weighs 20 lbs. It makes it fun tossing her around. Despite her tiny size, she will eat almost anything and will try everything. She is not picky. I love that! She loves doing dishes or helping out with whatever I am doing. The girl can hold her own. If it comes to a fight....she'll more than likely win.

Dejah is so grown up. She is my HUGE little helper! So many times Logan is just upset and she makes it all better. She carries him around the house like a little friend who needs help. She is his constant entertainment! Dejah can be found every day with pencil and paper. She loves to draw and write. She is eager to learn and loves school. Being the oldest, she tends to get the brunt of clean up, but she's a trooper.

I love my kids. I guess that's what keeps me smiling. I wish I could give them more. I wish I had the energy to keep up with them. I guess this is a unique time in my life where thing just need to be let go. This pregnancy has really thrown me. I'm still working on being excited about it, but I guess that may just have to come in time. So for now, I am trying to channel my negative energy into a little more positive.


  1. Your second paragraph describes my pregnancies to a T! It's so comforting to know that someone else only does their hair for sacrament (and really, I rarely accomplish even that) and wears a robe all day every day.

    Your life might suck right now, but know that you have comforted ME!

  2. Hey girl! Sorry to hear you've had it rough! :( I was so much happier at my 12-week Dr. appt. than at my 7-week appt.; but it took me that long to get totally excited about the pregnancy, so I can relate. I hope that you start feeling better soon!

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  4. I love it when Tucker starts kicking his legs too when he's excited! I hope you feel better soon!

  5. Hey at least you are trying to be positive. I would have a really hard time too. You can do it. If you need to bring your kids over so you can nap, I'm available.

  6. Your positivity is great - when I'm down, focusing on my little children always cheers me up too! Here's to your first trimester going by quickly!

  7. It always helps to look at the positives. Hang in there, it will go by so fast. Just reading your blog made me go back to my own pregnancies and the way that I feel... it seems so long ago! But the 1st tri is definitely not fun. Hope you get to feeling better soon!