Sunday, August 21, 2011

Gonna Put This To Rest

When I first wrote out this post, it was simply because I had been thinking about a lot of things.  I was in the thought that I should write them down.  Mostly for journal sake.  My kids.  A friend that was on my mind.  Anyway.  I sat.  I typed.  One thought to the next.  Thought number 3?  Well apparently I must have said something wrong because all of a sudden NOW I'm a horrible insensitive person who doesn't understand working moms.  So let me be SPECIFIC.  I DO NOT have ANYTHING against working moms!  I can't even imagine how much more difficult your job must be.  I do feel it is important for a Mom to be at home, but I COMPLETELY understand that is not always possible.  I think nothing less of you for working.  You are a Mother and that in it self is hard. 
Thought number 3.  Let me be SPECIFIC. I feel it is unfair to the children to have to go to daycare because the parents have decided that an expensive lifestyle is more important. If you are a Mom who works full time because of uncontrollable circumstances, or  You are a Mom who works at home, or you work while your kids are at school....ect. ect. ec.....the list goes on..... I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU.
With that being said.  Here is my post. I am putting it back.  I just felt like I needed to remove it to check it over and make sure I didn't say something I didn't mean.  Apparently I've hurt some feelings and that was absolutely NOT my intentions.  I love all my working mommy friends and family.  I'm not even trying to pass judgment on anyone. I just want my kids to know where I stand in the future.

I've had a lot of thoughts lately.  So this post may be all over the place, feel free just to skip it all together, or you may go ahead and torture yourself with my babbling.

First thought, Motherhood.  Such a unique experience (yet not right, since there are millions of mothers out there).  Honestly, how did our Mom's do it so well?....And, without all this wonderful technology?? Gag!  I was reading the blog of one of my friends who is going through a little spell of difficulty right now with the "stay at home mom thing".  She has four boys age 6 and under.  She often feels lonely and in a bit of a rut. There is so much more to this story, but I just thought I should share some of my thoughts on this matter.  First off, I FEEL where she is coming from.  My typical day consists of waking up much earlier than I EVER want.  I drag my feet to the kitchen where I do the daily routine of filling sippy cups with chocolate milk.  The TV is immediately turned on, because there is just no way I can handle energetic children that early.  After that I feed the baby, then I feed the kids, and if I can remember...I feed myself.  Usually I get distracted by an awful smell coming from Logan's direction, followed by another one coming from Lexi's.  Beds need made, kids need dressed, breakfast cleaned up, laundry going, Lexi nap, and then before I know it...the kids are hungry again!  11:30 Lunch (and most of the time I'm still in my PJ's and Still haven't had breakfast).  I really don't want to type out my typical boring day.  The point is, I'm pretty sure that it is completely normal for a stay at home Mom to be bored, lonely, overwhelmed, and completely content with letting the TV run all day.  So to you stay-at-home Mommies that struggle with all these things... I HEAR YOU.  You are NOT alone.  I am really dreading the upcoming school year because to me it means cold weather and being stuck in the house day after day while my biggest helper is gone at school.  Anyway...

“It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, even some failure is normal. If you have a good, miserable day once in a while—or several in a row—stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life.” Elder Boyd K. Packer

Second Thought, Feminism/Neutralism, whatever you want to call it.  I was watching one of my favorite shows the other day, "So You Think You Can Dance".  I've been watching for several years now and I've been pretty disappointed this year.  Not sure I love the choreographers.  And not sure I love 1/2 the dancers they cast.  Don't get me wrong, the dance skills are amazing!  But I've been noticing a "trend" that I don't like.  My favorite dancers are the women who dance like a true GIRL.  Long flowing hair, even a cute short girly cut.  Elegance, Grace and Finesse even some Sexy in there. And the guy who is Strong, well built and exciting to watch cuz he is a GUY! And Wow can he move!  I understand completely that the whole world does not view things the way I do.  I'm pretty conservative.  My religious beliefs are basic and traditional.  However, why do people feel the need to take away the value of a Woman by making it seem so horrible to be a "lady"?  Give her a mow-hawk and call her a "warrior princess".  Why must it be so Horrible if she isn't successful in the workplace.  And for the Man.  Why is it so horrible for him to be a "Head" of a family? And why does that have to look like he is Domineering?  Now you may wonder what does this have to do with So You Think You Can Dance?  So many of the dances portrayed were how powerful the Woman is.  Or the Man cheated on her.  Or the Man is trying to overpower the woman.  But the Woman was strong, and didn't need the Man. Stuff Stuff Stuff.  The two girls left in the finals were truly amazing dancers.  Its just that I was SO not into the image of the "warrior princess", boy hair cut...mow-hawk look.  Which leads me to my next thought.

Third, I believe that women are strong. But I don't believe what the world is teaching that they need to prove it by being a career woman.  I do understand the necessity to make extra income when needed. Or even  if the job doesn't conflict with her first priority to her children.  I believe that a Husband and Father should be the Provider to the family.  All other Hobbies and Interests that require his wife to work should be seriously toned down so that she can be home with those precious spirits who need their mothers guidance, direction, and life lessons.  When two people decide to get married, it means setting aside personal interests for a bigger cause.  The woman will give up a lot of her individuality as she quits the workplace.  She has fewer friends and opportunities to spend shopping and doing as she pleases.  The Man also loses time on the golf course, or in the basketball court, and also doing as he pleases.  Does this mean giving up those things completely?  No, just cut Way back.  Living on one income is very difficult and requires great sacrifice.  Hobbies, Toys, Extras for the kids are much harder to have.  Each parent has to take a separate role with one purpose in mind which in turn can create amazing success in their marriage and family.  I don't share my feelings on this often because I'm afraid to offend.  Alex and I have been married almost 8 and a 1/2 years.  By no means are we the example.  We definitely live pay check to pay check.  I sometimes wonder if it will always be like this.  Regardless, in our 8 1/2 years Alex got a Bachelor and a Masters Degree all while be the SOLE supporter and provider to our family.  Currently he works two jobs at a time, and takes a third during the summer while he isn't teaching.  Even with Church assignments we somehow manage spending time as a family doing fun things with the kids.  I have such strong feelings about this, and find myself keeping my opinion on this matter to myself because I know there are many people that have both parents working many hours BECAUSE the Husband can't seem to cut back on his expensive hobbies, or the wife can't give up her need to buy things, and in turn some other person is raising their kids.  If you live this way please understand I have no intentions to offend you.  But I feel like I've seen the difference it can make in the lives of the kids.

(If I had to write down all my imperfections....It Would be a NOVEL, a Series, and and Library full, so remember these are just my thoughts)

FOURTH.  Over time I have developed such a bad eating habit.  The worse part is that I LOVE to eat junk food before bed.  It is just super relaxing for me to get all the kids to bed then pop myself a small bag of popcorn, bake a few cookies and have a glass of chocolate milk with it.  MMMM.  Then I cozy down and watch some TV.  I go in different spurts with what I eat.  If I am full from dinner then I usually don't do this.  However, I usually always end up eating a really late lunch, which makes me skip dinner all together...then I snack before bed.  So I've been thinking if I want to get myself in shape, this habit is the first one that needs to go.  Boooh :(

FIFTH, I'm pretty sure my "opinions" could offend some people.  Seriously not my intentions.  I know everyone has their own thoughts and opinions on life and how it should be lived.  But sometimes I feel my Blog is a bit boring.  I don't share my thoughts often, and I just have so many.  Hey guess what, give me a year, they may just change, but isn't that what growth is?  So for now, these are my thoughts, be prepared for more in the future. 


  1. Good. For. You. If I could stand up and applaud you right now and not look ridiculous in my office alone I would. :)

  2. Couldn't agree with you more about SYTYCD. I was so not a fan this year. Boo. Agreed, I like seeing girls dancers that look and act feminine and male dancers that are strong and masculine.

    As far as the working mother goes that is a hot botton topic for sure. In my opinion the home is the best place for the mom to be. If I had to put my kids in daycare it would kill me. I know there are people that have to do it, but I think if people sacrificed a little more they could probalby make it work. There I said it.

  3. I love drama on blogs over comments. Its so funny to me that people get so worked up. I remember someone commented once on my blog that I was "sexually Explicit". It was so hysterical because WHAT ON EARTH were they talking about??? So funny.

    You can't please everyone. And you should never apologize for having personal convictions - especially when founded on basic church principles. thats just ridiculous.


  4. hi I am just a random blog stalker :) just wanted to share this:
    "Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."

    it is by Elder Bednar I believe.
    anyway that's all I wanted to say
    keep blogging :) :)

  5. I don't find anything in what you posted offensive in any way. It's your blog, your opinion. People drive me crazy sometimes! Anyways, I totally stumbled on this blog today and it is HILARIOUS! I thought of you and totally think you should submit whatever that nasty person put. It's called the comments people leave are so funny. It makes you feel good because you are definitely not alone in the fact that people are getting nasty comments all the time to posts that offended them or whatever. Keep posting your honest thoughts and I will keep reading them!!