I think last night was my breaking point. Getting the membranes stripped has done nothing. I am having NO contractions. I pretty much lost it, because I thought for sure it would at least give me more. I have been so stressed out that it truly has consumed me. The fact of the matter is, Alex starts work Monday. He'll be taking that day off because that is the day I will be induced. That is the day this little girl will be forced to make her entrance. And that is the day I will keep my eyes on. When we come home from the hospital I will try my best to be a trooper through my recovery. Alex will have meetings that week and then head back to full time work 4 days later. I will just have to learn how to juggle my 6, 3, and 1 year old while recovering and caring for a newborn.
Yes, tomorrow the Dr. can strip them again. I'm not going to have any expectations that I will be dilated to a 4 because usually in order to dilate, your body needs to be having some contractions. Which at this point...aren't happening, and haven't really happened for two weeks now. So this morning I have a new resolve to try to just "let it go". Today I will go help my Sister-in-law on a Vault Denim party. Maybe this evening we'll get the kids out. Friday morning I'll go sit in the Dr.'s office until he can see me. Maybe that day I'll go shopping for some school supplies. Who knows, I think I just need to keep myself busy until Monday morning.
This has been really hard on me, but it makes me realize how powerless I am. I have never been this far along with this little progression. No contractions and a constant achy body is frustrating. So, here's to Monday. I am going to do my best to keep myself composed until then.